How Integral Should Work Be to Your Identity?

In fact, such is our obsession with work that some cultures even have given surnames to people based on their jobs. Fancy some pollock in Paris? Find yourself a "Pecheur". Need a medic in Milan? Look no further than a "Fisichella". And no prizes for guessing how Ted Baker’s ancestors earned their crust.

The question is, though: is it healthy for work to be quite so central to our identity? We spoke with EZRA coach, Tracy Murphy Paukstys, PCC, CPC, ELI-MP to find out.

Identity crisis

“So many people are defining themselves by whatever their skills are, whatever their ambitions are, whatever their contributions are,” Tracy says.

Indeed, over half of U.S. workers say they get a sense of identity from their job rather than simply see it as something they do.

But when work and identity become too intertwined, it causes what’s known as ‘Enmeshment’. All that lies down that road is “Perfectionism. Burnout… Nothing is good enough,” Tracy warns.

And if that job gets taken away? Well, then your sense of self is going to go with it. What does that leave?

4 Ways to Keep Personal and Work Identity Separate

Nobody wants to be that person at a party anyway, do they? You know, the one whose conversational repertoire doesn’t stretch beyond their latest pitch. And the good news is you don’t have to be. If you follow these steps.

1. Check yourself

Applying, “Conscious thought… Interrupting and really challenging ourselves to say, right, who am I? Right. What do I want my life to be about?” is a good place to start, Tracy tells us.

2. Redefine success

And while it’s natural to want to be successful, it’s useful to scrutinize what that really means and where it comes from.

“I think in a lot of ways, success is determined right by how people are talking about it,” says Tracy. And a lot of that is “…how much money are you making? How much have you advanced…? What level are you at?” she adds.

But here’s the thing. It’s not up to others to define success for you.

3. Recognize the different roles we play

Besides, we’re so much more than just employees. “Like…a partner, a spouse, a sister, a mom…,” as Tracy reminds us

Take time to recognize that. And if you need any further motivation, know that forging a more rounded version of yourself is a powerful barrier for dealing with change.

4. Nurture hobbies and interests

Think about “What are the other interests that you might have?” too, Tracy encourages.

Attend to them. Nurture them. Remind yourself there’s a life outside of work. And as a nice bonus, it’ll boost your powers of creativity while you’re at it.

A turning tide?

Tracy is hopeful for the future. “…Some of the younger kids see their parents doing that and not being happy and saying. Yeah. No, I'm going to go do something totally different. I'm gonna go live… Build my identity and then I'll figure out later how work fits into it.”

So next time someone asks, “What do you do?” why not tell them “I'm trying to live life to the fullest,” and start the revolution.